Things that make you go hmmmm.......

Navigating life as a white male in our society has its benefits, I mean lets face it “White Male Privilege” is not so much an argument as it is a fact. This can be broken down even further to conclude that simply being a male in America today is a “win.” So, imagine my surprise when I read a recent research study explaining how society’s expectations for men can be just as daunting, and damaging, to them as similar impositions can be to women.

I suppose I wasn’t alone in my astonishment, as scholar Neil Alperstein pointed out, “only recently has the concern for the depiction of men in advertising started to emerge.” Interestingly, the formula for the ideal man is not that different than the one for women. According to advertisers, it just a matter of changing out the ingredients!

For the “perfect American woman” you must include a dash of sass, a few gallons of makeup, a good dose of submission and domesticity, and finally a strong resistance to excessive weight or body fat of any kind. Whereas, for the “ideal American man,” one must combine a good dose of machismo and individualism, a dash of love for the great outdoors, a pack of six highly visible abdominals, and finally a wild abandon for responsibility and commitment of any kind.

Wow…seems simple! Thanks advertisers! I mean, if it’s portrayed on T.V. then it must be the “norm,” or standard everyone should aim for…. right?

That’s a pretty high standard for most men, I would assume. So, I guess, I’ll have to say good luck to all those Average Joes out there. I mean, it sucks, but I guess you’ll just have to hang out will all of us Plain Janes, who have fallen short in regards to the “recipe for success” as well.

Well, Go-Gurt gets it!

Finally, domestic marketing aimed at men, no not just men, but dads! And these fathers aren't the normal, run of the mill counterparts to the ever present advertising portrayal of Mommies-of-the-Year. Nope, these guys are actually the ones packing the lunches for the kiddos!

Let's hear it for Go-Gurt, I mean it's only 2012, what trend setters! Here I am watching Mr. Clean rescue this poor housewife from having to tote around a variety of cleaners, by arming her with his "Magic Eraser" and then BAM, switch ads and.....Dad is packing the lunch. WHAT? Isn't that a "woman's role."

Well, apparently not anymore, and it's about damn time! If there is one thing I am SO sick of it is the idea that women, according to the majority of current advertising, are still the end-all-be-all of the "domestic sphere." But, with this one ad I can see a light, albeit a small one, at the end of the tunnel!

What does this mean for the future??? Could one day I witness a commercial portraying dear old dad touting a huge smile as he admires the heft and tenacity with which his Brawny paper towel just cleaned up that spill? Will I see Dad agonizing over which wholesome meal to prepare that night for his family as he peruses the superstore shelves? I mean, really, the possibilities are endless! And, it's about time, because I just can't keep up the level of domesticity that society expects of me.

I am a woman, a wife, and a mother, but I can tell you straight up I couldn't care less which paper towel brand is the best, or if my floor cleaner smells of spring flowers, I'm too busy pursuing a career and raising a child that hopefully will appreciate women for the reality of their abilities and achievements.

The Devil is in the Details

Once again this week I find my self with plenty of food for thought. (I’m guessing I will have much more to digest before this class is over). This week, the perspective under review, for me, is the role and characteristics of lesbian and gay couples as they are portrayed in “Queer” shows.

My interest in looking past the surface of this issue was sparked by Carolyn Byerly’s article “Situating ‘the Other’: Women, Racial, and Sexual Minorities in the Media.” In the section The Sexualized (Queer) Other, Byerly gathered a number of scholarly contributors to support the idea, that although “Queer” shows have become more visible, Gay and Lesbian character portrayals are still burdened with a number of oppressive and diminishing components.

She writes: “Film scholar Vito Russo (1987) found that historically, mainstream films show gay characters (and their lives) as sterile in the areas of love and sexuality, and as silly or corrupt.”

She goes on to cite instances in the show Will and Grace that exemplify that although the series showcased openly gay leading characters, those characters were not allowed to be romantic, political, or overtly attracted to the same sex.

This was an interesting point to me, as I remember watching (and loving) that show, thinking to myself how nice and groundbreaking it was. But, that was superficial, or to be more kind, it was an opinion that was far from holistic. I never noticed how Will never “checked out” guys. Or, how he never was seen cuddling or dating, maybe that’s because I was too distracted by the silliness of Jack’s character – which was an obvious stereotype of a feminine gay man or “queen.”

In the later half of the section, Byerly turned her focus to lesbian characters, or lack there of, within the media. She cites Hantzis and Lehr, “Program makers seem especially unwilling to represent lesbians, rendering invisible women’s desire for other women and thereby avoiding any threat to heterosexuality or to the heterosexist male role of definer and center of female relationships.”

This statement got me thinking about my favorite show, the Showtime series Queer as Folk. Even though, I do feel that show was a great representation of gay life, in that it allowed for multiple types of gay male characters, it did seem to shun lesbians. The show included only one lesbian couple, and they were rarely featured as the central plot in episodes. Additionally, in retrospect, I find it interesting how their child was fathered by the character, who although gay portrayed the most stereotypical traits of a heterosexual man, including competiveness, aggression, and machismo. 

Could I be that generous?

Just when you think you’ve seen major progress in society, a reality check comes from behind and snaps your head right back around. We like to think that because groups of white-robed horseman aren’t running rampant through the streets and crosses aren’t ablaze in neighborhood yards that racism and its ugly affiliations have faded into the past. Sadly, that is not the case.

Viewing snippets of life gone by, I am forced to admit, we have moved forward. Segregation is no longer accepted or in practice, racial slurs are no longer considered a part of normal conversation and affirmative action has led the way to a less hostile work environment for minorities. But hearing the experiences of others who are not part of white middleclass America, made me reconsider just how far forward we, as a society, have advanced. Further, after listening to them detail their accounts of social injustice and intolerance without even an iota of anger, I was forced to ask myself: could I be that generous toward a society such as this, if I were in their shoes?

If I was a Black man, who was regularly pulled over by authorities, maybe because of the car I drove or because of the fact that I have other Black friends with me, could I tell my story with an air of acceptance? Could I be calm and tolerant of those who still serve to oppress my rights?

Or, if I was a Black woman could I no longer just step carefree into the high-end shops in NorthPark Mall. Would security guards or sales persons shadow me throughout the duration of my shopping trip? Would I be able to simply shrug this off as just a facet of my prescribed lot in life?

Even more disturbing, if I was mixed race, would I be okay with conforming my identity to fit the clear cut black or white categories so often found on questionnaires and identity forms? Would I be accepting if the DMV chose my race for me from the two I listed, both of which composed my heritage?

The answer to all of these is, no, I don’t think I could. I don’t think I could be as generous as my fellow citizens. I can empathize with their plight, and I can hold contempt and outrage toward a society that still refuses to accept the fact that life is not about race, gender or sexual preference, rather it is about the human condition, a condition that links us all by a common thread.

Generosity is a virtue and I applaud those who apply it with such diligence, because I for one could not walk that road with such grace.

Hide Your Wife, Hide Your Husband, Hide the Point

Antoine Dodson…I’ll be the first to admit I laughed out loud when I saw this news clip for the first time, I even found myself being able to recite his lines from memory, but what I couldn’t remember was if the rapist had ever been caught, a question I still can’t answer today. That simple fact is what transforms this news clip from funny to a media mistake, is the lack of journalistic responsibility.

Is it funny, well, yes, but is that the point of news reporting, no.

According to the Society of Professional Journalists Code of Ethics (1996), reporters should “be sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by tragedy or grief” and additionally, they should, “show good taste” and “avoid pandering to lurid curiosity” (para. 3). Did they follow these guidelines in the Dodson case, I would have to say no.

The way this story was reported not only lost the seriousness of the situation, it was also framed to appear almost like a mockery of low-income African American families. The clip was more like something that would appear on Saturday Night Live or Mad TV, not something to be taken with merit on the evening news.

It’s difficult to consider yourself media literate, and better schooled than most in the shortcomings and techniques of modern journalism, only to get lost in the surface comedy of the Dodson case. And, although, I can admit I laughed, I can’t say that it makes me proud. Again, the fact that a woman was almost raped, should never be cause for even a shorthanded snicker, but again, the news media should take a more responsible approach in the way they frame their segments, especially ones concerning such serious issues. And further, those standards of responsible reporting practices should be kept regardless of race, gender, sexuality or any other defining characteristics. 

Society of Professional Journalists. (1996). SPJ Code of Ethics. Retrieved from http://www.spj.org/ethicscode.asp