So, I changed my mind….you can’t have a “Man Cave”

The family and I are in the process of buying a home. That being said, we all have a number of amenities we would like to have, a big yard for the pups, a pool for the summer, a big kitchen and more. But, there is one thing that my husband and my son have really been gunning for – a “Man Cave.”

Initially, I didn’t have any issues with them referring to a game room as a “Man Cave,” but then I began to think about it, and when I talked to my son about it, I began to feel it was an issue, simply by the way he was describing it.

For starters, what will be in the said “Man Cave?” Well, it will be a sports-themed room, mostly baseball and football memorabilia. We also wanted to put the pool table in there and some other gaming tables. My son keeps saying we will fill with all the things “guys like.” I think that’s what got me. I’m a woman, but I love baseball, in fact I understand the game better than some men I know. I’m not a huge fan of football, but I am well aware of how that works, too. And pool, well I don’t want to brag too much, but I can hold my own.

So, after considering all of these things, I realized by allowing the game room to be called a “Man Cave” I am actually teaching my son that these areas of entertainment are for men only. That is not acceptable, so we will now refer to it as the game room.

This was a great lesson for both my son and I. I learned something in regards to the possible long-term negative ideals that could be reinforced by subtle, yet derogatory terms. In addition, I got to explain my decision to my kiddo, which helped to broaden his perspectives on sports and women’s roles in them.

So, maybe my kiddo will never make it on “The official Man Cave” site (yes, this is real: http://mancavesite.org/) to display his sporting sanctuary, now that we are going to call it a game room, but I feel he will survive this set back. And, in the long run he will be getting something much more valuable out of it - a respect for women and their contributions to the world of sports.

Equality, but not really…is that right Mr. Romney?

I told myself: “No more political blogs.” But, alas, I must write just one more. After last night’s debate I would be derelict in my duties not to!

So, the question posed to the candidates was about equal pay for women, and while neither really answered the question directly, I was once again floored by the pretentiousness of Gov. Mitt Romney.

He began tackling this question by heralding himself as a leader in diversifying the workplace. Not only did he ask his staff, “where are the women job applicants were,” he also ended up with binders full of women! Imagine, binders full of them! Then he proceeded to explain how once he hired these women, he understood they needed special treatment. Now keep in mind the question is about EQUALITY, not special needs. So, Mr. Romney in his infinite generosity explained how he knows that women need to come in late and leave early so they can not only take care of their children, but also be home to make dinner!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!! Equality has nothing to do with any of that! I don’t need to file a special claim of circumstance or disability in the workplace because of my gender, but that is exactly what he insinuated.

I don’t know about everyone else, but when I say I want to be treated equality, it is based on fairness and comes without gender role assignment. Equality as described by Mitt Romney in the second presidential debate is a ridiculous notion, and it showcases his lack of intelligence on even the simplest of matters concerning our nation and society.

(As a side note, who wants to elect a president named after a piece of baseball equipment anyway?) 

Big Bird is a Democrat and the gardner is gay

I hate election year. It brings out the absolute worst in people. In addition to dealing with the continuous auditory assault of spoken ignorance, election years force me to perpetually “spring clean” my social media friend base. I am always shocked to realize I have been long-time friends with so many racists, sexists, and morons! So, I decided this week to blog a few of the most outrageous comments that I have heard lately in regards to politics and social issues. And, this is only what I have heard personally, I’m sure the spectrum of stupidity is much more broad at a national level.

At the gym:

Mrs. J. has come to the conclusion that people only vote for Obama because “he is a black, and people feel sorry for him because he has to be a black.” Furthermore, she has deduced that all liberals are “uneducated and poor” because if they weren’t they would realize “how wrong it is to be a liberal, with no religion, because no one can be moral without the good Lord Jesus Christ.” When told her comments were offensive, she responded, “How can what I’m saying be offensive if it’s all facts?”

At my child’s school:

Mom A is waiting for her child to be released from school and is visiting with Mom B very loudly and excitedly, their conversation is as follows:

Mom A: “My God, I had no idea PBS was run by democrats!”

Mom B: “I know! Can you imagine, our children have grown up with Big Bird, and honestly I never thought twice about it!”

Mom A: “Well, the worst part is, these people, people like the PBS people, are in our schools!! And, they are around our children!!!”

So, now poor Big Bird is getting the boot, all because he is assumed to be a democrat. And, worse still….are you sitting down?....There. Could. Be. Democrat. Teachers. In. Our. Public. Schools!!!! Give me a break, there are many more things to be concerned about, namely for Mom A, is the fact that she double parked her massive SUV and should really focus on learning to drive a bit better.

At lunch:

My friend and I were eating lunch when we were graciously given the opportunity to overhear (well. not really, these ladies were basically screaming at each other from two feet apart) a delightful conversation concerning Christian convictions. Both ladies in this conversation were nicely dressed and about middle age, the topic on hand: the “prissy” preacher at Sunday service.

Lady 1: “I knew it was true from the time he told us about his roses.”

Lady 2: “Did he come out and just say it??!!”

Lady 1: “Well, no, but any man who likes to garden must have ‘the gay.’”

Lady 2: “Yes, you’re right, I just wish we would have gotten around to cleaning out that mess from church sooner. The house of the Lord is no place for gay….you know John says it can spread like any other sin.”

Give me a break. Homosexuality is not contagious, but I have come to the conclusion that ignorance may be very catching! 

This just in...Women are doctors, too

A troubling occurrence in class earlier this week made me confront an ugly reality that I have seen around campus, not just as a graduate student, but also during my undergrad days. It seems that regardless of equality based on degree level and experience, women Ph.D. holders are just not given the same level of respect from their students, and even worse, at times not even from their peers. Imagine how troubling this is to me, when my near future includes a doctoral pursuit for myself!

In class with a student and professor, both of whom I am familiar with, I was astounded when a minor disagreement about a point of the student’s presentation turned into an attack of arrogance on the part of the student. The student argued with the professor very rudely and tactlessly, almost as if she was having the dispute with a pal. After the presentation, the student then decided to announce to class how right she was all along with an air of indignant self-righteousness and a complete lack of consideration for the professor.

Now, I have seen this same student in a similar situation in a different class, the only difference was that the professor there was a male. In that instance, the student did not talk back, she did not aggressively attack the professor, rather she respected his position and let it go. Later, she handled it with him in private, exactly what she should have done with the female professor.

That just really pisses me off, why did she feel she could handle such a similar situation differently when the only thing that changed was the gender of the professor?

And, on a more general note, citing those two professors as examples once again, I have NEVER heard the male professor referred to by his first name, but Dr. is left off of addressing the female professor 99 percent of the time.

This bothers me at a very core level. Ph.D. is Ph.D. the gender behind the degree shouldn’t matter! The bottom line is individuals who manage to hack a Ph.D. program and successfully gain tenure, should be given the respect they deserve in EVERY instance.